Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Warning: May Start Crying At Anytime

We plan to list our home in the next week or so. For the past month I have been emptying drawers, cupboards and closets and boxing up things we don't use on a daily basis. I'm continually amazed at how much stuff we have succeeded in cramming into our little home. For a couple of weeks we were continuously winding our way through a sea of boxes. When you're already tight on space, you quickly run out of places to store boxes. So after a while I was stuck. I couldn't pack up or move forward until we moved some things out. We asked a few close friends in the ward and my dad and brother to come help move things to storage. I couldn't wait to free up my hallway and office and finally have my home 'back'. But the next morning I realized that Jeff moved more than just boxes the night before. He took a part of our home with him. I've been missing a part of me ever since. Upon this realization I scrambled to look for something that was still intact and could give me stability for the upcoming months till we officially moved out and were prepared to start a new chapter in our lives. Naturally I turned to primary.
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We had a special stake meeting to realign ward boundaries on Sunday. And when they said realign, what they really meant was they were dissolving our ward and breaking us all up. With no warning we were all just suddenly released and shipped off to different wards. It's not like we've just been released from our callings - because when that happens you can still see everyone on Sundays, even if you're not still working with them. And it's not like we've already moved away from the ward and can go back and visit friends. No, it's much worse than that. We have no where to go back to. My complex and one other (that only has a handful of active LDS homes) were not only sent to a different ward, but a completely different building. No passing a familiar face in the hall. No seeing any of my primary kids anymore - Emily is the only kid moving into this new primary. I've cried for several days. I just wasn't ready to say goodbye yet.
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Our new ward has already had 3 functions this week. They're making a great effort to help us feel welcome and included. Which is really nice. But I have to admit I'm kind of grudgingly accepting it. I miss my primary kids. I miss my presidency. I miss my Bishop. I miss my friends. I know change is a necessary thing in life. I've received confirmation that listing our house and moving is right. And I've also received confirmation that the ward breaking up is right. However it doesn't mean any of this is easy. We have several months of limbo ahead of us -not fully putting our hearts into a ward that we'll be leaving in a few months and living in a house that's only partially here. I never do well with waiting. Maybe that's why God keeps testing my patience.

7 comments:

Heather said...

Reminds me of our life the past year. . . It is hard when you are constantly going through big changes and the end of it seems so far away. Good luck, and I hope this next little while goes by quickly for you until you can adjust to a new normal!

cleverly content said...

I hear you. I wish being reminded that "change is never easy" made it easier some how. I will have to call and commiserate with you in a month as we pack up and move, and I have to say adios to my YW.

Thinking of you.

Johnson's said...

Oh no. That is very sad news. And it does makes me want to cry...

I wish you the best of luck. I hope that your selling/buying process goes quickly so you can go back to 'living a normal life.'

Johnson's said...

Random ?:
Is it ok that I copy your idea of "Emily-isms"
If so...What gadget do you use to post them???
Thanks.
Jenn

Tim and Heidi said...

I'm feeling the same way. It's no fun at all.

CHAR said...

Hey Becca! This ward situation is sad! I am going to miss having you in the ward. I was also very sad that I was never able to say goodbye to my primary kids (Since we were out of town the 2 weeks when this all went down).

Marli said...

Rebecca, I'm so sorry. That really does stink. Maybe I will just go call you and check on you. Oh, and you can always come live by us. :) Just saying.